her butt almost distracted me

more importantly, though...

what are those babygirls on your FEEEET?!

my fave coachella looks

if i was there, jammin' to prince and santogold, i'd be wearing a medley of these thangs:

she just slays this whole ensemble.
rumer soars, looking dare i say FEMININE.
UPDATE: it's scout willis. they fooled me.
this babygirl's sandals are from payless. and she does it.
casual fridays WILL see these on my feet before the summer's up.
winner takes all. i'm wearing a wreath of ivies around my dome to happy hour.

via style.com

Fun!

Lil Mama miraculously pulls off wearing everything that she likes ... All at the same time!lookin' good there young guuhhly guuuhhlllll ........

Halle's post-pregnancy body:

ARE THESE FOR REAL?!

who knew?!

(A disheveled looking) Faith Evans, 12 year old son son Christopher Jr., and 1 year old Ryder Evan were spotted making their way through airport security. How did Faith get that whole 9-month-pregnancy thing past us? and now, for a better question:

Who her new baby-daddy?!

for all my algernod lovers...

the big day has arrived.

...now back to finals!

overheard in nigeria

me: do u have customer?
vincenza: have customer? maybe in nigeria

me: bitch the song. kill urself

vincenza: hahhaha oh

first thing monday morning

at least allie will feel me on this if every BG out there tries to stone me for this post.

whatever. i love her.

you first heard of lykke li weeks back on rbg. and she's still on my mind.




i know i'll get it back
yeh, i know your hands will clap

the 7th Annual Tribeca Film Festival was this weekend in NY

my favorite bg Zöe Kravitz got a haircut,

me likey.

wait. a. fucking. minute

ok ok, im over all the hoopla abt the world's biggest baby. i mean, this fatty surely is big--a whopping 3"2', 49 lbs, at 10 months old.

but can we talk abt his momma?!?

:scans picture:

"there's no woman in this picture," you say?
o yeh, that's her. STAGE RIGHT. big baby in hand. i just can't.

word to my meal plan.

she started it

has always been reason enough for me. hahahahahahahahahahha

waaaiitt - just one question.

is our babygirl of the week Sarah from Making The Band I, II or III with a pair of fresh-out-the-box ass titties ??

ok. 2 questions - and WHY????

hahahahahahhaahahahahhahahahahaha DYLANNNN!!

as if we need confirmation...

The internet world is abuzz, awaiting some type of platinum, bagel shaped marriage confirmation. Let's get over it people and talk about something more interesting. Like how if I was a guy - i could only hope to be this fly ........... Hov out Monday in NYC
while Beyonce finally makes me laugh! at the lengths to which she will go to prolong marriage buzz and speculation. Gloves though?? out last (80 degree) Tuesday in New York.

and now, in honor of the fact that he used to be a rapper - some words to live by:

I speak through music. I reach you dudes. We can get deeper into dirt than cleat shoes.
I refuse to lose. I peep you creeps three months in advance. I see right through you Judas!
The man that I am, and damn you don’t know – the harder you go at me, the harder I flow, let’s do this.
I’m just a mirror reflecting your image, the minute you switch up your face, I pick up the pace – there’s nothing to it.
Hammers from my waist, we can clap at this amateur pace, if that’s what’s crackin’, or we can play this on All Madden. Can you even fathom not having a fear in the world? I’m cool in my afterlife if I’m reading these chapters right. Please, what have you? I breeze through Matthews. Bleed if I have to. You cowards die a thousand deaths. Fake fucks face down on your housing steps.

i've got a date with the soccer moms

Tom Cruise is coming back to the Oprah Winfrey show!

After speculation that he would never return to the beige leather couch he so excitedly jumped upon, Oprah and Tom are scheduled for two - count em - Two interviews early in May.
May 2nd and May 5th Tom will be making his first appearance since the birth of little Suri and his marriage to little Katie. One interview will be taking place at his Colarado home, and both are meant to end speculation that his marriage to Katie is a farce and that little Suri is really an Alien. Only time will tell ...

something's in the kool-aid.

i thought i'd seen it all when bleezy entered my apartment last year with this note in her hand:

to WHOMEVER is drinking my kool-aid please STOP. it is disrespectful and RUDE and i don't appreciate you adding WATER to it to make it seem like you have not been drinking it. have some respect and get your own shit!

and when she hit me with the, "do you think she knows it was me?" i almost slapped her ass, as she was the only other black person in the house and the clear culprit. the "adding water" part did render some good laughs weeks after, tho.

but this passive-aggressive babygirl didn't stop at bleezy, tho. fast forward to last night, facebook.com, recent status updates, :DIES:

[kool-aid caller out] would like [insert name here--oh, she DID that] to stop the BULLSHIT and pay me the money she owes me from since before Spring Break. Got your hair done so pay up!!

the day i succumb to death by frying via fbook status, cancel my acct amaris. somebody pay this woman! and get her a cold glass of kool-aid while you're at it.

you will never...

im drunkkk
yet serious
as my expulsion would have been had someone found this lit candle in my apartment for the 4 hrs that i was at steve's party.

kill yourself, bitch.

as if his blog wasn't enough...

any opportunity i have to blog about plies, I use. forever, and always. why? well, for one, algernod lanier washington is ALWAYS is on our top ten searches. for two, i mean it's plies. any more questions?

So today my Plies stalking led me to this:

If you want to send PLIES letters, you can mail to:

Certified Goons
PO Box 51785
Fort Myers, FL 33994
or leave him a message at the exclusive hotline number 239.878.0089.
Get at Ya Boy!

Thank father God I have a new book of 342 cent stamps to mail this with. ::gets at boy::
and don't think i'm not checking for that bust it baby video.

cut it at 0:30

That's just enough time to see the shoes, and hear her say "you look so dumb right now."

The rest... you will be held responsible for listening to.

Raise your hand if...

you've seen this dress in LVL X, Susan Fashion, Papaya, Lucaya, or any other store in the mall. Now, if your hand is still up, you own it, and you have put out 2 albums....

kill yourself.

When the Claritin-D box tells you 24 hours...

BELIEVE THEM.
My throat has been sore since last weekend, gloriously spent in DC. I chalked it up to too much alcohol (don't act like you've never felt the alcohol hoarse voice, sore throat feeling before).

My throat stayed sore for days though, and by Wednesday evening my nose was running, my eyes were hurting and my cheeks were flushed. I rushed home from work two hours early and collapsed on the couch, barely able to change clothes. My head was about to explode. I called my dad. "Dad, I feel really sick! My throat has been sore for days, and now I have a slight headache, my cheeks are flushed and I'm congested. Even my eyes are hurting!"

"Hmm, yea - sounds like your allergies have kicked in. Yup, allergies and sinuses."
I thought he had heard me wrong.
"No dad, I'm really sick!"
"Alright, well I'm going to stop and pick up some Claritin on my way home. We'll see if that helps."

----------

20 minutes later dad walks in the door...

Moaning from the couch, "Do you have it? Give it to me! Give me five. Give me 20. No, no, give me two." Reaching out for them...
He puts one in my hand. "You can't take more than one in 24 hours. Too many antihistamines will make your heart race."
This was the last thing I heard before I fell into a deep peaceful sleep, waking up a few hours later to a clear nose, soothed throat, and a renewed respect for both antihistamines and my father.
----------
Thursday morning I awoke to find myself congested again. Now I know the box says 24 hours, and I know my dad talked some mess about heart, racing, too many, blah blah blah..... but I wanted to be able to breathe! This was coupled with the fact that my mom was practically pushing me her perscription antihistamine like an experienced dealer! I don't know. Maybe it was a contest between her perscription meds and his over-the-counter remedy. After being told, "take one of mine, try this one! It'll clear your nose right up!" I gave in, as we laughed, "I mean, no one has ever died from taking two antihistamines! hahahaha." She chimes in, "Yeah, I guess I'd just have to rush you to the hospital! hahaha."

An hour later, my nose was completely clear.... and I felt like I was going to die. Now running errands I'd become dizzy and lightheaded. Heart palpitating like a motherfucker. As mom is driving home I have to tell her to pull over so I can be sick on the side of the road. Twice. We get home, and as there is nothing left inside, my body wants to continue wretching in furious dry-heaves of disgust. Each time my empty body has this impulse it is screaming at me, "24 hours!" "24 hours!" Not sure if I should go to the hospital, but doubtful I'd be the first to OD off 2 pills, I waited it out, being sick all day at the house.

Long story short, I didn't die. In about six hours I could hold down water, but have not taken another pill since yesterday. Nose blocked up like shit. And I couldn't care less.

i tried to call Brownlee today....

to tell her about something very funny. very very funny.

but as i dialed, a voice said: you are being directed to sprint financial services please do not hang up.

::hangs up immediately::

should i be on homicide watch or jump straight to suicide?

there's something about papers

and 7 am

that just go together.

like fat and skinny minnie.

or leopard print panties and white tees.

the worst mistake Mark ever made

Original Post: Someone forgot to tell Michelle Trachtenberg that you aren't really supposed to wear these!!

(Ten minutes later this post was taken down)

------------------------------

LBoogie (1:05 am): If you don't get that 'k' out of Marc Jacobs .... Lol

me (1:06 am) : Hahahahahahaha. I had to delete the post. Who the fuk is michelle trash-watever anyway? Lmao

LBoogie (1:08 am): Hahahaha oh no! I totally wanted u to fry her. She's in like teen movies. A mess with that shoe!

me (1:11 am): Haha. That shoe is traaaash! Will you do it? My ass is tired

LBoogie (1:13 am): Girl im in my bed. We'll let the bitch live this one time.

So Trashburger Thought. In '08, NOBODY GETS OVER.

but some babygirls are still allowed to wear shoes:

Nicole Richie in some braided Balenciaga sandal booties,

Angie Harmon rockin that Prada shit HARD,

Heather Graham, fly, in some funky Versaces,

Jennifer Connelly in some extraordinary Balenciaga beauties,

and Jessica Biel in the best shoe of the season, pure, Giambattista Valli, unsensored, SeX.

as if our blog didn't make you paranoid enough

this just in from princess v of zamunda:

"i love the fact that you will go away soon. i love that people read my blog. i love that you're a gemini. i love that we are getting back to us. i love the possibility of the both of you. i love that you try to steal my friends. i love talking shit on my blog. i love that the next 3 years of my life won't be a total waste. i love knowing whoever is next won't give 2 shits about you. i love cutting people off. i love knowing that you need me more than i need you. i love red tube. i love knowing who was really better in every fucking way. i love how i actually hate going to the movies. i love pacman jones. i love not being on facebook. i love that at least 7 people will think this is about them."

they say vision, it takes you back to just where you want

i love sexy talk

seventeen0fool (2:12:38 PM): u got this book for 2morrow

lboogie (2:12:47 PM): wat book?

lboogie (2:12:54 PM): for the reading?

lboogie (2:12:55 PM): yah

seventeen0fool (2:13:19 PM): can i hold it 2 write the jont

lboogie (2:13:43 PM): yah

seventeen0fool (2:17:50 PM): what u wearin

lboogie (2:17:54 PM): lmao

they say we dreamin' wrong

i'm in this weird space--limbo if you will.

i always thought being an only child meant yearning for the company of others. im actually pretty averse to that shit right now. i can only hope that my return to bklyn in 4? some odd weeks will allow for the space and loneness that i once took for granted and now crave.

just accept these papers and finals.
put money in my acct this friday.
feed me.
give me some D.
hand me a diploma.
and don't call me.

kanye and alexis broke up. i have nothing left.

thus she is irked.

"Tia Mowry has been made an honest woman by her fiancé Cory Hardrict."


they want you dead L.

if you cared, they were referring to this.

AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY BLOG

we said we needed to do more to reach out to our male readers. and bg's are trying trust and believe. bleezy suggested we just put up a titty. just one titty. and so men here is gabrielle union in allure. with two titties. but we are an equal opportunity blog. so for the women.... wtf is this dislocated barbie leg gabby has goin?

let's all just breathe for a second ...

Alicia Keys opened her arms to controversy by voicing her opinions on hip-hop, telling Blender magazine, "Gangsta rap was a ploy to convince black people to kill each other."
Her comments have pissed off 50, who tells TMZ.com

"If she don't like that, (then) I don't like that classical music shit she be doing. At some point she's playing some shit that don't relate to me. ... We listen to it and try to figure out why people actually enjoy it. I am trying to enjoy it. That statement changes my perception of Alicia Keys totally. But the magazine is standing behind it, which means they probably have a tape of her in conversation saying it. It's just not really a bright comment anyway."

He adds, "I don't like people who don't like me ... "

Keys has since retracted the statement, insisting her words were taken out of context.

50 - calm your hyper ass down! All babygirl wants to do is play the piano and live. Take a vicodin and a nap. And stop taking things so personally! Shit, I'd barely be able to like anyone ........

spazzin drastically and definitely whilin

According to several eyewitness accounts, a violent brawl erupted Wednesday night on the NY set of N.E.R.D.'s forthcoming music video featuring Lindsay Lohan. Both Lindsay and Kanye reportedly visited the set at different times during the shoot but were not present during the disturbance. The incident involved two men, both extras on set. The fight began with name calling over face time on camera. "The extra who was being taunted jumped up and assaulted the individual who was taunting him. Some of the glass props broke, and the assaulting individual cut his arm on the broken glass he fell on," according to James Demasi, who operates the club. One eyewitness claimed there was "blood everywhere" inside the club after the fight, and that several production assistants were instructed to clean it up.

No arrests have been made and the NYPD are not investigating the matter.

The real story, however, is that the video clip is for a track called "Everyone Nose," From N.E.R.D.'s upcoming LP, Seeing Sounds. The video will feature a giant, dancing nose - as the song's subject is cocaine use.

How the Fuck did Lindsay Lohan's Publicist allow her to sign up for That?!?!?! Her ass shoulda been fired since the below pic hit the internet. Babygirl will never work again. Neverrrrr

ok - so what's the reeeal reason

Alexis Phifer, Kanye West's fiancée of 18 months, has confirmed that the couple's engagement is off.

"It's always sad when things like this end, and we remain friends," she reportedly told People.com. "I wish him the best in his future and all of his endeavors. He's one of the most talented people I've ever met."

The site reported that Alexis was spotted on the red carpet without her engagement ring at an "Evenings in Vogue" event on Thursday night in New York, where her clothing line, Ghita, was featured.

A friend of Kanye's told the site, "They'd been having problems, Kanye is really focused on his show; he's putting everything into the show right now. Alexis is a nice girl, but Kanye has been going through a rough time. They hit a rough patch and for now they've split."

Ummm, ok. So who was he fuckin??

what's the big deal?

Nas has recently released material from his forthcoming album, Nigger, tentatively slated for a July 1st release. The song, entitled "Be A Nigger Too", borrows the hook from the old Dr. Pepper commercial with the lyrics "I'm a Pepper, he's a Pepper, she's a Pepper, we're a Pepper - wouldn't you like to be a Pepper too?"

Now substitute the word "Nigger" for the word "Pepper".

Later in the song he raps "to all my kike niggers, spic niggers, guinea niggers, chink niggers, that's right, y'all my niggers too."

"Nas is bred for the plan, to hold a Grand Dragon's head in my hand"

These lyrics come from a street leak, while the official single is expected soon.

Let's Be Honest. The only reason it sounds bad is because he's ending the word with an "R"............

apparently playin for keeps?

Last week NBA star Carmelo Anthony was pulled over and detained on suspicion of drunk driving. 'Suspicion' until his blood test comes back affirmative next week. Anthony and his fiance LaLa Vazquez have both issued statements to PEOPLE Magazine in response to internet rumors surrounding the incident and her alleged refusal to pick him up from the police station.

LaLa says, "I want to make sure the public understands that I fully support my fiancé, Carmelo Anthony, and stand by him through this ordeal. I will always have his back and never refused to pick him up from the police station. In fact, they offered to bring him to me."

Carmelo has issued a statement of his own, saying only "LaLa continues to be a rock in my life, she's always been there for me through thick and thin."

And I can't decide if the bigger tradgedy is his DUI or the booking photo. You decide.

All I DO know is ... his ass sure as hell looks drunk!

wipe me down.

Bleezy f: (12:44 am) what was that other porn site again? lol

Vincenza: (12:46 am) Redtube.com hahahaha

Bleezy f: (12:48 am) Thanks guurl. Not gettin no sex - def need some porn in my life. Also def blogging ab this shambles tomorrow. nite!

Vincenza: (12:50 am) Hahaha. I knooooooow bg I knoooooooow wipe me down or kill me now. im not sure i know which...

Eureka!

By George I think I've got it! all i need to do is put in 5-7 more years and have 3-5 children and maybe, just maybe, we can have our first date. maybe even spend a weekend together! but you know, in all seriousness, i'm a hopeless romantic. and tragic. so i actually LOVE this couple. and i also think a wedding between the two will be of epic proportion only fit for one place on this earth. you know where. kim porter would kill this Zamundan number:

it takes a very unique woman to deal with diddy shambles. i say you earned that kim.

pardon me, Hov...

...but i'ma need those kicks.

and the cardi, in fact.

1 part bitter, 2 parts righteous

christina ricci in a recent blackbook interview-gone-wrong:

interviewer: what's it like being the new face of louis vuitton?

ricci: well, i’m not anymore. i was one of four actresses that they used in a campaign once and it was really fun. i liked it. i would like to be the face of Louis Vuitton. i am not, however. you know who is? scarlett johansson is the face of Louis Vuitton. wrong interview.

:DIES:

i love this bitch.

via gawker.

wait--was there a concert last night?

and while i don't appreciate you dating that tranny one bit, you're still a righteous babygirl, rashid.

i'm pretty sure bleez, vincenza, stef, sisi, and i had more fun than anyone else packed into mcdonough gym last night.

oh, y'all were right in front of common during the performance?
nah.
oh, y'all got to hang out with him after the show?
nah.
oh, y'all were over it abt 3 mins in and sed 'fuck it' and had your own party on the sidelines during his whole set?
uh, yeh...that's abt right.

RINGLESS!

GOTdamn! whatever, phife--i'm still down for your fabulous ass.

carry a big stick

there were several instances this weekend where i just had to walk softly:

-eurotrash motherfuckers storming/stealing the table we spotted at rubgy with a nice "well, we wanna sit here too."

-out of pocket co-workers who must have forgotten the color of my skin and the sass of my tongue.

-technological courage that would never take place in real face-to-face life.

with my babygirl regulars in tow for most of these events, it was hard to explain to them why i didn't approach these situations with the usual lboogie freak out. i'm the one in the group who has to be calmed down and escorted away from situations involving bitchassness extraordinaires. so when i found myself taking deep breaths and walking away peacefully from my offenders, i was a bit thrown off as well.

i second-guessed myself until i discovered--

i found joy in just. saying. nothing.

i'm wearing these on the first day

tory burch, i hate your shoes. but i love your shoes.

kanye--YOU BETTA DON'T

i just recovered from curtis kicking mini-fiddy out coupla weeks ago. i CANNOT and will not subscribe to this here kanye/alexis breaking up foolywang.

proud to be a cougar

just when i was starting to rethink my new status as a cougar, julianne moore gave me this cover and said to me: you better work, bitch.

i'm so on.

Flowy and Fabulous for Summer 2008

Taking a page out of Lanvin's book, and inspired by a pair of gold lame flats, I am embracing everything flowy and fabulous for the summer of 2008. I am not sure where this summer will take me - back to London for sure, but packed full of new faces, challenges and adventures. Front of mind priorities include decorating my first private and personal living space - not exactly in my own personal taste, but reflecting the taste of both my boyfriend and myself. The bedroom was painted a shade of beige, and then the idea to paint the wall behind the bed a deep and fulfilling shade of brown hit me like a truck full of bricks. Brown is an earth tone, not gender specific, and warm. It makes the room feel instantly comfortable - even, at the moment, without an item of furniture in it.

Next on my list is to get a Masters degree. Classes will start in September, during which I will not only learn - I am determined, also, to make some friends. Never could I have anticipated the chellenge of this outside of an educational environment. And it is certainly not socially acceptable to walk up to an interesting, funny and happy group of people and say "do you want to be my friends?!"

The other difficulty, of course, is that there are not too many groups of seemingly interesting, funny and happy girls running around London. If they are happy, they sure as hell don't look like it.

Yet while I don't yet love London, I have truly grown to appreciate it. Also on my list of things to do, I am determined to do some traveling. I want to go to Amsterdam. And eat some "brownies." As well as drink some Milkshakes. I'm excited to learn!! I want to see Italy, soak up some culture, eat some fattening food in a place where the fatter you are, the cooler you are. I want to pause for just a moment and appreciate simple beauty. I want to go to Paris. After all, it is just under two hours and a simple Eurorail ride away.

So these are my resolutions for the next few months, no matter what else happens. I'll bring some books. I resolve to read them. I will stay in better contact with my real friends. I will try to be nicer to my boyfriend.

And this was supposed to be a post about flowy fabric. Maybe, in some twisted way, it is. The life I am currently living probably looks something like this.

It may not be designed by Lanvin though. Not yet.

free at last???

The Associated Press is reporting that Foxy Brown has been freed from jail! God forbid she frequent a hair salon anytime soon with cell phone in hand.

Family and fans greeted Brown Friday outside Rikers Island, as she was released from the jail after serving an eight-month sentence.

"The first place I want to go is church. I've got to get on my knees." said Brown.

Instead, Brown went shopping in Harlem, had some soul food and was driven to her childhood home in Brooklyn in a white Rolls Royce Phantom.

speaking of sprint...

if you receive this letter...

should you slit your wrists up or across?

a little ounce of joy.

so it's hot as hell in the district today. with a nice breeze too. but what really made me happy was the fact that i returned a friend's phone call today only to discover they had a sprint phone. not having seen the phone or anything, i just have memorized the voice of the sprint pcs lady. and i got a little ounce of joy thinking of all those free minutes we can share.
i know that t-mobile bitch too. i see you verizon. and if i call and hear the at&t woman consider our relationship ova. o-v-a. ova.

is that on point or a disaster???

a picture is worth a thousand "aw hell nawwws"

shorty in the back, stage right--my sentiments exactly.

Name something a clumsy surgeon might leave behind in a patient.

...errr aaah... a stethoscope!

X

everytime i watch family feud there is always a muthafucka they shoulda left home. and when they give that sorry ass answer you gotta be like yaaay! good answer! good answer! if my family ever was on family feud, and i answered: a thermometer!

trust and believe alex would be like.... naaaah ho! that's the dumbest shit i ever heard! bad answer!

and that's just how i like it...

amaris:

nice time. we need more time in the sun.
comrade: couldn't have said it any better. you were my thursday.

i have the illest friend. ever.

his name is dr.c because he is a scientist. when he gets done crushing mc's with his microphone and selling apartments to artists in bk, he teaches a fresh set of 1st graders about how to do science..the cav way.

here's how his lessons go:

dr.c: today we're gonna learn about heat conduction. poof! ::does some ill experiment::
kid a: yoo..i think he's mad cool. i kinda want his autograph.
kid b: yea.. yeaaaaa! that'd be so dope. but i wanna ask him first!
kid a: na, yo. my idea. i'm gonna ask him first!
::interrupts lesson::
DR.C! DR.Ceeeeeeeeeeee!! can u sign my notebook pleeeeeeeeeease?
dr.c: sure sure, kasandra.
kid b: can u sign mine too.. please?!?
dr.c: of course, tyrone. but i'm just your teacher. im no celebrity.
kids c,d,e-m: i want your autograph tooooo, doc!!!
funky fresh girl: ::whispers:: can you write your phone number on my paper next to your signature?!?

..as if this man could be any cooler, here's his interview on saving a woman's life borrowed from these people.

they thought they could make it iller. but no ones fuckin' with the doc. not nobody, shun.

oh HELLZ no!

Vogue puts this fat, beautiful bitch in bidness class!

anna, how COULD YOU???

no game

this ain't no game - even the price of my classic chick shawarma at quick pita is increasing in price!

(good thing i don't eat meat anymore.)

do some ho shit.

at the next campus party, i'm butt naked with glitter on me and a beeper.

who's down for butt nekked wednesdays?!

all wrong.

whatever happend to lying to your kids? this book on mommy's plastic surgery, set to be released on mother's day, is sure to get young girls under the knife in a mad rush. all so they can be just like mommy - pretty darn glamorous.

the cover features a teddy bear clad baby ariel or penelope or jessica looking at her bombshell mom thinking "just how much longer before i can look like this hot mama?"

a book excerpt on tummy tucks/lipo:

"You see, as I got older, my body stretched and I couldn't fit into my clothes anymore. Dr. Michael is going to help fix that and make me feel better."

i'm convinced this book'll be a top seller in l.a.

kill yourself, dr. michael salzhauer.

and hold the knife, raquelita and perez for now.

to know me is to love me.

never will my horoscope say:

"You need people, and you certainly need love, and this can lead you into romantic trouble. Opportunities are everywhere for you, because you're so attractive, so friendly, so flirtatious, and so easily influenced by the opposite sex. Love, in fact, is the most important thing in your life, which is why it's so problematic for you. But don't worry—after being misled, cheated on, and unappreciated by several partners, you'll get it right."

oh ok... thanks?

kobe--WE BELIEVE YOU

you need approximately no more people.



i steal their shit like it's my j-o-b.

what what (in the butt)

almost 10 million hits later...



a south park parody but pure hilarity nonetheless.

myanté tuesdays

m: i went to see martin luther king this weekend.
lboogie: yeh? who's that?
m: you don't know him?! he's the president of washington, dc. you don't know him? he's BLACK!
lboogie: how did he get to be the president?
m: 'cause he tell people something abt "he the president."
lboogie: oooh. so i can just tell ppl i'm the president...and then i'll be the president?
m: no! you gotta pay to be the president.
lboogie: oh.
m: but he died, though.
lboogie: yeh?
m: i think it's some army that shot him.
lboogie: yeh. ur prolly right.

this baby just slays me on the regular.

i'm coping with my addiction

to mirrors. to shoes that don't love me back. to the gym. to food after the gym. to freshmen. to scowling. to the phrase "kill yourself, bitch." to all-nighters. to one-nighters.

and to this.

about that dating shit...

i just went out with a 35 year old man. who had on an ecko unltd. track jacket. timbs. silver shades. white yankee fitted. with dirt around the edges. straight from the pages of urban bazaar.

he took me to an open mic night. 2 straight hours of mc's from dc. oh but what he didn't mention was that he also wanted to "bless" the mic. with his inspirational rap music.

then tried to touch my knee. ::cringes::
because i didn't remember even giving him my number, i couldn't let him drop me off. and that meant after all of this trauma.... I had to walk 2 blocks home.

so today I, vincenza (formerly joie), but you can call me vinci- am no longer dating. keep your numbers. and your dinner. i'd rather starve.

and fat shout to the assholes who made this suffering possible: beny, payton, jessie, eric.

in-mothahumpin-DULGE this week.

why, you ask?
because it's SPA WEEK!
starting today through the 20th, 21 states and over 500 spas are participating in Spa Week Media Group's 4th annual week of treats. for 50 buckos you can indulge in spa services that'd normally put you out of a hundo or two, for starters.

in the spirit of pending tax returns, i'm booking an appointment for mom dukes and the grams at graceful services - one of a ton of participating places.

visit spaweek for the full list of spas and treatments available. love me later.

thx for the rec, dookie.

liveblogging 'the hills': relationship vacation

via text... (parentheses my own)

[wifey]: Never the black ass alicia!

(are we secretly starting to love those tragically bad, disastrously multi-ethnic mini-shows more than the tragically bad, disastrously white series that spawned it?  maybe so.)

[andre]: I like can't even think of anything to say.

[wifey]: Cutrone is so greasy (interupting the typing of my...)

[andre]: Other than that i NEED to work for kells!

(n.b. wifey has already been wacked for that 'greasy' comment)

[wifey]: Yeh i love her.  Does this bitch ever work tho?  Like u have on a leather jacket.

[andre]: who?

[wifey]: Cuz it's so damn boring!  And CONTRIVED

(what?)

[andre]: Bitch you live for this fake white woman heaven

[andre]: Yes! Relationship vacation!

waaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiittt..... whaaaat???

im transforming myself

into a real spanish girl.
tired of the ole "i wouldve never guessed" or "nooooo..i couldve sworn you were innnnndian."
starting tomorrow, i'm reverting back to my old self.
amaris circa 1996.
complete with a:

• heavy spanish accent
• slick back ponytail
• parasuco denim
• lots of hair gel
• oversized name earrings

and perhaps i'll update this 10 year old style with pumps and some matte RED lipstick.

o and i'll play nothing but merengue, salsa and bachata in my car, room, or anywhere else, just to drive the point home.

good? and that'll be quite the makeover from this:

dont 'cha think?

i write sins not tragedies

they fooled me.

joie are you alive?

in short, yes. when I checked my voicemail this morning i had no idea that i had 12 new voice messages waiting for me.

yes. 12.

from liiike everyone.

dad misses me.
daija needs me to call her back asap.
brownlee threatened my life (twice).
mom asked if i got my tax return (finally!)
jon is on the west coast scared for my life.
jruck wants to know if i'm really off facebook.
payam wants me to put an offer on the house.
future roomie wants to know if i got home safely.
tom wants to study.
marcus can't believe i still haven't called him back yet.
jessie just called to see if i was ok.

naw just kidding on that last one. jessie would never call to check on me. that would require him not to be completely self absorbed. and yea i just said that. aaahaahahaha.

make that 11 voicemails.

p.s. don't call me joie anymore. i'm over it.

dear summer:

the best thing about making 3 stacks a week,

is that I will finally be able to afford some jogging shoes...

here's the thing...

I'm not greek or anything...
and I know Latinos etc got they own thing going but....
this just feels wrong.

you ain't got shit in your purse

after andre came to my dungeon apartment thurs night and bestowed upon me his mom's vintage gucc', a celebration was clearly in order. and by celebration i mean an overeaters anonymous gathering.

enter maddox. line sister. andrea. and the tombs' "study snacks" menu.

andre and i devoured everything on the 15 plates on our table, yet we were still sniffing for crumbs. we invaded maddie's purse in hopes of finding a twinkie or 3, but instead entered into a world of luxurious, fat-hating, sexytime shambles.

some of the things we found:

a GPS. hydroxycut. chanel checkbook. orbit white. great lash mascara. deep steep moisture stick. blue blockers. lv wallet. hoodia. green tea extract. mini aids ipod/coach case. cocoa butter. banana-flavored dental dams. weight defense multi-vitamins. and a shitload of receipts.

true story.

y'all better shut up

these yves saint beauts make up for r. kelly's conk in more ways than 1.

noel, how do they make you feeeel?

fuct for kids.

as if kids needed more than psps, cellphones, and candyland, fuct brings the little snot noses a streetwear label of their own.

erik brunetti, the designer behind the brand, has recently launched his fall 2008 collection that features some old and new designs and prints for kiddies. The collection includes tees, hoodies, long sleeved shirts and hoodies. its cute and all..but this dudes branding all over his pieces may shake up the 'rents a bit .

fuct for the babies, 'netti?

what ever happened to osh kosh and bgosh?
gee whizzz..

drunkkk in this club

fuck bitches. get money.
all i need is you
viva glam 6. not eight.
salt and pepper tequila
lampshades and popcorn


back burnin
hash browns
ring ring on the iphone
it was my homie
PURPLE kisses

hovi's home

i know this mad old and i may sound a loser - but i just saw this clip, and it's straight fire.

lemme get that fur trimmed coat, hov.  and fat shout to the cameos by mimi, the BOSS and some other rando celebs (sorry, puff).

radiant

you know we love these bitches. they haven't looked this fresh and happy and gorgeous in a while. here they are in hong kong to promote their new fashion line, elizabeth & james.

thanks, startracks!

streetwear is dead

fabric by blackburn. i see you in this.

coming back to a big screen near you!!

Our favorite babygirl 50 is in talks to star in an upcoming independent film entitled Spectacular Regret.

The movie's plot is something about four LA natives struggling to overcome past events ... or something. who cares. shit. 50 might be in it.

so i've been sitting here for the last 12 minutes

trying to get into "If I Were King" - "Diddy's" new "Reality" show about his endeavors as a "Fashion Designer."

After repeated attempts to redirect my attention back to the television screen, it occurs to me that I would rather watch a reality show on the decision making processes of George W Bush - or attempt to hold a rational conversation with Aziza Robinson. Or picture Usher and Tameka actually making love in a club - or elsewhere on Earth for that matter.

im holding my face alright i guess ... but it's tight.

“So tell me Slim what you wanna do

when you know i’m in love wit you
everytime that i turn around
look for you but you cant be found

fly free baby fine wit me

i’m in love wit a bumble bee
ooh Slim , boy you killing me
but you soo sweet ta me"

i think i miss my boy boy.

i have a friend who just joined match.com..

..and heshe's been rackin' up hits, winks, and messages like it's hisher day job.

i mean.. from a peek at the scene from hisher acct (i was asked to keep this SUPER anonymous) i gather the folks on this site ain't too bad.

i read through some of hisher message threads and learned that perhaps emailing is the better way to get to really know a folk. i guess.

i can be killed for this..

Well I am a simple person, I really can do anything as long as I have fun. In my spare time I kick box, ride my motorcycle, take road trips in my truck. I am pretty low maintenance from the larger scale. I'd prefer to sit home cook a nice dinner and cuddle up in front of a movie but I am not stranger to dancing my behind off either. I pride myself on the aspect that I came from nothing and now I am doing something but I am humbled by my beginnings. What about you?

how fucking interesting? this dude/ette does it all!

they even give you tips about how to communicate with the oppposite sex for the social awkies:

Interested?

Women prefer emails; email her

to make matters better? you can even match yourself with your date according to 23 categories
{eye color, hair color, body type...} in case youre looking for a twin.

for a mean 80 bucks for 6 months w a guarantee of 6 additional months should you happen to not find your match in the first half yr this may be worth the shame of putting yourself totally out there and having dildoheads like me put your shit on b-l-a-s-t.

sold?

tell me are you bold enough to reach for love?

hoodrat. crackwhore. carefree. nightclub. closet drunk. bathtub. outcast. weirdo. stepchild. freakshow. black girl. bad hair. broad nose. cold stare.







they say this babygirl is the female andre benjamin. i say that's doin' too damn much. but i will admit that while trying to ignore her hoopla for the past couple of weeks, i found that she forced her music into my inbox and i admired that tenacity. that's Zamundan for "my boy over at pmd sent it to me."

anyway i pretty much just wanna eat janelle monae's face. i feel like i shld be blasting her music from a babygirl spaceship headed straight for mcklezie's house. diddy got a hold of her and said something like she's the most important artist signing in bad boy history. (fuck biggie, you say?) i'll momentarily pardon that foolywang bc JM for sure is that crack.


change change change your life.

sing to me MC and jeezy

oh, your album didn't come out yet? err ahhh.


mimi and jeezy are probably my two favorite people in the world. ok, that's a lie but i love this track, "side effects," off her e=mc2 shambles.

flickerin' like a candle
doin' my best to handle
sleepin' with the enemy
aware that he was smothering
every last part of me
...i fake a smile and deal with the side effects



jeezy's verse is super irrelevant, but who's counting?

evoLVed

this bitch don't fuck around, and i love her.

at the brookyln museum's louis vuitton-hosted opening for takashi murakami's new exhibit, featuring a performance by LV and murakami devotee 'ye.

hey there girly giiiiiirl

any more questions!?

is it just me...

...or does the phrase "make an honest woman out of her" irk the shit out of you too? gotdamn.

babygirls know sports

In its annual online poll, SI.com has just voted Stephon Marbury the league's least valuable player. This is well deserved for, as they put it, "all that the point guard accomplished in the last year:"

• Conducted an often incoherent interview on live TV in New York City interrupted by his taking a call on his cell phone.

• Defended Michael Vick in calling dogfighting a "sport" while bemoaning the lack of criticism for people who "shoot deer or shoot other animals."

• Testified at the Isiah Thomas sexual harassment trial to having sex with a Knicks intern in the back of his truck outside of a strip club.

• Left the team after being told on a flight to Phoenix that he was going to lose his starting role. (Teammates reportedly voted not to let Marbury play in his first game after rejoining the team, but Thomas used him for 34 minutes off the bench in that Nov. 14 contest against the Clippers.)

• Threatened to blackmail Isiah into starting him on that same flight, reportedly telling teammates, "I've got so much on Isiah and he knows it. He thinks he can [get] me. But I'll [get] him first. You have no idea what I know."

• Oh, and in the 24 games he played: 13.9 points, 4.7 assists, 0.9 steals -- all career lows.

Congrats Starbury!!! Well done boy boy

fat shout to 1994.

this song has been in my head all day. and i ain't even mad.

Setting: McDo in Chinatown

joie: can I get a uuuh, medium drank, medium fries, 2 mcchicken sandwiches -with no mayo. oh and 2 apple pies. and a snack wrap.
employee #1: your total is 7. 14
employee #2: damn all this for you?
joie: ::hangs head in shame::


p.s. R.I.P. to those girl scout cookies too.

Fares from $0.09 each way!

Dear Spirit Airlines,

Admittedly, your fares are in fact low. However, of all of the cheap frequent fliers I know, none has ever paid 18 cents for a round trip flight. The deal is not that special if one way costs 9 cents and the return flight costs $159. In that case, we just spent 159 dollars... and nine cents, to take a flight where you don't even offer a damn pretzel. Oh and a cup of juice? Don't serve that either. Oh and your bags cost 10 dollars each to check. Oh and you have to carry them to security yourself. The jig's up, Spirit! You need more people.

Sincerely,
i'd rather pay the extra 15 bucks and fly delta

what would YOU give to the museum of broken relationships?

croatia is tryna jack haiti for their "best week ever" title. and subsequently trying. to. kill. me.

your blog wasn't enough for you to shit on the fool who tore your heart in two? well--babygirl, we've got just the thing for you. the museum of broken relationships wants your shambles and they want it NOW! the exhibits are wholly composed of leftover keepsakes from failed relationships. and they're all sent in with love and a death note from your most scorned croats.


one pissed "artist" writes: "You wanted me to bake bread. Because a woman kneading dough is so erotic. You probably thought I’d work up such a sweat that it would drip from my breasts directly into the bowl. One summer day I dressed up only in an apron, just for you and the bowl."



and another unrequited babygirl says: "It was 300 days too long. He gave me his mobile phone so I couldn’t call him any more." i'll be GOTdamned.


i'm moving to croatia and live feeding directly from this shit because clearly the curators want my sweatshirts. this is tell 'em why you mad son on crack.

so im back in dirty jerz...

renewing my visa and enjoying the very best it has to offer.

Salivate over my top 5 Jersey favorites below. in the area? try them yourself. i guarantee that you will not be disappointed:

1. Hot Motherfuckin 97
2. While we're talking about radio stations, Wendy Motherfuckin Williams
3. Taco Bell
4. Warm bagels, crispy on the outside, soft on the inside
5. Star Tavern Pizzeria. - thin crust, sweet sauce, fresh melted mozzarella that can't help but to slide all over the dough, your plate, the inside of your mouth...

wilmer--you need more people

for those of you that believe him, though--peep the trailer for "days of wrath." the biggest babygirl that you've seen thus far is in it! but they killed him in the damn preview, so i'm over it.

Preggers?

Methinks yes. As does the New York Daily News!

As I have spent the last six years denying that this relationship actually exists, I suppose it's time to hop on board. As the ship has clearly already sailed without me.

where we at polow? and andre? and amaris? and bleezy?

youtube is having its best week ever. and ricky is in this video.

:DIES:

i dance like keri allllll the time when i'm in the club. oh yaaaah.

she righteous. for sure.

so i totally went to this concert and ate up every single moment, but this video just put some shit in perspective for me. beyonce is absolutely ridiculous. but if you know anything about me, you know that ridiculous people are the only ones i let into my life.

be wowed:



they had me at "b-girl posturing." just a damn MESS!

a few things:

the new plies single features ne-yo it's called bust it baby part 2. now ne-yo, is that on point or a disaster? experience that here:

yup. on point.

now if you pre order 'definition of real,' you receive a bundle pack which includes a t-shirt:

I ordered a double.

and to conclude this plies bonanza.... algernod thought we wouldn't notice his new chain. but babygirls notice their babygirls.

did RAUS' chain put on a ski mask?
oh algie... you get me everytime :)

babygirls immortalized

Congrats to the babygirls in the 2008 class of the basketball hall of fame. pat and pat keeping it really sexy in '91.

dicky v. get's emotional after hearing the good news.

Other bg's honored include: Hakeem Olajuwon, Adrian Dantley, and Cathy Rush. Righteous.

May 14 2008 8:00P	Constitution Hall w/ THE ROOTS	Washington, DC, Washington DC
May 15 2008 8:00P	Constitution Hall w/ THE ROOTS	Washington, DC, Washington DC

a little post 1L finals/graduation/return to the americas/return to dc treat for the babygirls? methinks yes!

JUNO is a babygirl

if this was a competition...

need we announce a winner?
bg's luuuh Nicole Fiscella.

walk with me now, and you'll fly with me later.

dear earl,

i know your life is in shambles but i still miss you. after deep contemplation, i have come to the conclusion that i totally support your new endeavors. i will purchase your gospel/rap double album because you were good to me. so what you're a little insane? what these bitches want from a nigga?

somebody let me know,
de.vivre.

Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice.

they say, I'm holding on your rope,
got me ten feet off the ground
i'm hearin what you say but i just can't make a sound
you tell me that you need me
then you go and cut me down, but wait
you tell me that you're sorry
didn't think I'd turn around, and say...
it's too late to apologize–
but it is.

by the end of the day you'll be on my jock

you did it to me 1nce again my friend/i swear u do it to me every time/that's why u stay crazy on my mind/boy you got it goin' on

x^2 + 2x -3

I don't have to do the math to know that Algebra Blessett adds up. this babygirl is an amazing vocalist. but i'm a little upset that her label shows her no love, and even went so far as to make her record a video that looks like a sims creation. see for yourself. anywho, check her records.

she may not be good at picking labels but what this bg does know how to do is make a point rather poignantly. (listen to come back).

her album is only 6.99 on itunes. i know... where they do that at? but that's like less than a steak burrito at chipotle. like seriously.

:ben walks into room:

andrea: ben, i got the 'itis
andrea: you know what the 'itis is?
ben: yeh! (super self-assured)
ben: how'd you get it?

:DIES:

wiki me.

let's say for instance you needed to know how to I dunno...

have nasal sex

and let's say perhaps you didn't want your google search history exposing you for the freak you are. or are not.

well, wiki after dark has got you covered. it's an encyclopedia full of inappropriate shit. and the articles, in some strange way, are totally scholarly.

joie: i wanna give you some of this ichat
joie: is that on wiki after dark?
boogie: lol
boogie: how did u find that?
joie: uuuuh....
::changes subject::

i hold jn45 fully responsible

but i'll stop frontin'. for now.

luxury tax on repeat

i'm a sinner, not satan
sittin' on lorenzos and i'm lookin' really patient
picture the equation
people takin' pictures and they really gettin' flagrant
flaggin' down my spaceship, sergeant sniffin' for a fragrance

you gotta pay for this.

forget nesquik.

gimme ovaltine grandmaaaaa!-sent from my iphone-

love love.

mo'nique on harriet tubman

on the michael baisden show today for 40th anniversary of MLK assasination:

"that sister had some white folk that were helpin' her out too"

BGs luhhhhh mo'.

ma & pa'

the latest hotspot for "destination weddings"?

rikers island.

the babygirls send our sincerest best wishes to remy ma and papoose for their upcoming prisonuptials.

long live the block!

my first reaction was, "oh wait you were serious?"

but after some self-introspection i came to terms with the fact that i was, in fact, a white woman in my youth. before RAUS, McKlezie, and Morrison, there was NKOTB, barney, and the babysitters club (say hello to your friends). I'm not sure whether this will be a hot ass mess or the second coming of little baby jesus. they announced this morning that they will be performing on the today show May 16th. just 24 hours before a certain babygirl graduation. i'll take that.

for the kiddies with a fuzzy memory, indulge.
check their footwork!

RBG stan turns 22!

you made it, fabe. was i the first one to call? at a timely 2:37? for sure no one called you before that. love.

Polow the Low Blow

joie (2:06:17 AM): never garage band polow

boogie (2:06:21 AM): hunNIE

boogie (2:06:22 AM): rock bottom

joie (2:06:30 AM): aaaaaaah!

boogie (2:06:38 AM): but apparently swizzy sounds used to jack casio back in the days of drag-on

joie (2:06:39 AM): hahahahahahaha

joie (2:07:02 AM): but uuuuh...

boogie (2:07:32 AM): i hate jeff's inability to just GET IT OUT

boogie (2:07:42 AM): like dude better be strugglin'

joie(2:07:47 AM): yea

joie (2:08:01 AM): like timbaland has a gun to his back

boogie (2:08:09 AM): hahahahhahhahhah



pardon us.

in what universe?

kanye posted the model of the stage for the glow in the dark tour...

but like is this for their stop on Mars? damn ye'

he says:

AN ENTIRELY NEW DESIGNED SET!!! ROBOT DESIGNED BY ACCLAIMED ARTIST CHRISTIAN COLON, CREATURES BY THE LEGENDARY JIM HENSON'S CREATURE SHOP, LIGHTING BY MARTIN PHILLIPS AND JOHN McGUIRE RESPONSIBLE FOR LAST YEARS FESTIVAL ANNIHILATOR, DAFT PUNK'S PYRAMID, POSSIBLY THE GREATEST LIGHT SHOW OF ALL TIME!! THANKS 2 PAUL, THOMAS AND GUYMAN FOR THE HOOK UP. SIDEBAR, MY SET DOES NOT HAVE A PYRAMID IN IT OR ANYWAY FEEL LIKE A BITE OF DAFT'S SHOW. WE'VE GOT HOLOGRAMS SHOT BY HYPE WILLIAMS!!!

caps are all ye's. but with good reason. this sounds like an over the top cup of shambles!

just how babygirls like it.

i tried really hard to hate here

...but andre will be happy to know that my lawry's was rendered unnecessary for this bomb ass vid. well go 'head then, mama madge. this bitch better be sexy at 62. justin, tho? over you.

you betta DON'T!

fiddy set to kick fiddy jr. jr. to the curb? say it ain't so!

please just do it for me

i'd prolly have a heart attack. much like the one i had in the garden on november 5, 2004.

Whhhhhite Women of the Week

oh you knew it was coming.

damn the rain.

addict: its kinda nasty out 2nite tho
joie: yea i wanna stay in and hunch
addict: i feel u
joie: i know you miss "sam" in times like these
addict: yessssssssss
joie: nothing like rainy day crack dick
addict: God forbid i'm in class learning ab AIDS in africa and i lol--- but ur right
joie: yea. i am

babygirl convention at georgetown

let freedom ring

art and democracy in the king years, 1954-1968

april 15-17, 2008
babygirls include, but are not limited to:

amiri baraka. michael eric dyson. maurice jackson (fat shout to piña's daddy!) angelyn mitchell (!) sonia sanchez. askia touré. haki madhubuti. soyica diggs (o pi soror!)

and as if that wasn't enough--
april 18-20, 2008 brings:

common. bleezyF. stef luva. sisi b. lil' riri. piña.

all that coupled with the righteousness that already resides in DC??
just. a. damn. mess./BEST WEEK EVER!

-----------------------

for more on the lannan symposium, click here.
for more on the rest of that righteous weekend, stay tuned to facebook albums.

oh--y'all accept left leg?

how 'bout right hand? bc i am giving it UP!

















stef would love to stash my chewy in here. but i won't have it.













i'll see you at visions.


















momma b for sure took this to bermuda today.

most official bitches.

you wish you could drop it like this

i pretty much just lose my mind at :28 secs.



she can't get no more righter.

"I may not get there with you."

- Martin Luther King
April 3, 1968

when i was little i thought my dad looked like martin luther king. i kinda still do. he don't-- but my dad had to look like the closest thing to perfection in a black man that i'd ever seen. who's closer than mlk? anyway, today marks the 40th anniversary of the assassination of papa king. i know without the sacrifice of him and others i wouldn't be here in this law school classroom. i do wish sometimes that they didn't fight cause somedays i'd much rather clean the chalkboards between classes than actually attend them.
ok, fine. i'll stick to thanks. anywho... fat shout to Hotel Lorraine in Memphis for being the setting for some fucked up shit.

check this documentary on CNN tonight at 9, if we're lucky nancy grace will make some sort of cameo. if we're lucky. see the preview here. thanks dad!

Note: this post was written by a black woman who wants to be skinny and white.
any more questions??

graduation present? methinks yes.

my dad sent me these pics this morning. and i've concluded that he's pretty much trying to kill me.

and while these babygirl models are lookin' all types of 1992, daddy leads me to believe that this is "the new benz."




















































































can we talk abt the sunroof/greenhouse window poppin' off in there?!

i almost sent him the link to this post on some "dad, look! you're famous, now" type shit. but then i was like, waaaaiiit...

WWW?

Definitely Perez Hilton - for turning John Mayer OUTTTT!!!!
Mayer's rep did not deny this. According to Perez - "because it's true." Also according to Perez, John Mayer is a "really good kisser!"

goodnight

joie: i'm going to bed. bye ho.
boog: night
joie: never "night"
boog: omg
boog: DIE BITCH
joie: that's more like it

somebody else's wife

shuffle did me good:



"yeah yeah yeah yeah
i can make it better, girl
and i know you really like this pipe
but you're somebody else's wife."

"i believe it is difficult for those who publish their own memoirs to escape the imputation of vanity; nor is this the only disadvantage under which they labour: it is also their misfortune, that what is uncommon is rarely, if ever, believed, and what is obvious we are apt to turn from with disgust, and to charge the writer with impertinence."

with that said, keep bangin' babygirls.

Did you mean: mckenzie ?

no google. i meant MCKLEZIE. i want more mcklezie in my life. and babygirl gots some mcklezie in her life.

since boogie gave me plieeerrrrs i figured i'd deliver her some xtascy floating from none other than grindmode.

for my Blake incarcerated...

you ain't alone babygirl!

tasteless SATIRE.

posted up on our campus. everywhere.
an april fools day jk, perhaps?

thanks, modsquad for being way first.

minutes later..
update here. i was right. per norm.

RAUS don't want you, boo

did your favorite "actress" make the cut? prolly not. this babygirl is a tough crowd!



loves the "seeing him come from my neighborhood" 3x for good measure.

pmd just got all our babygirls today!

dear daisys/victorias/awesome ten,

firstly, i'd like to thank you kindly for cutting. then filing, buffing, brushing, painting, and topping my nails with clear, over the years. a close observation of your craft, along with a few u-tube tutorials, has landed me my own stake in the art of nail care. yes, i've adopted the admittedly informal lessons into practice with some new polishes i purchased -- i even copped the OPI joints i always pick out at your spot.

it's been a couple months since i've taken matters into my own hands (quite literally), and i must say that my nails now look even doper than when you used to make 'em shine back in the day..

..sorda (ok.. not really at all, but i make it work). in any case, i am writing to inform you that i am rendering your services no longer necessary -- that is, from now on i will be hooking up my own manipedis on the reg.

and you, bgs. are done.

save for the occasional french manicure (too meticulous for me to master) you'll seldom see me. plus, i'd rather spend my lunch money on this.

sayonara, bitches!

your x-customer

even though i'm over you, joie...

"sincerely yours, mister plierrrrrsss."

thank me later, ho.

yes i do, PMD.

soulie= SOUL MATE

stef: what does it mean when ur skinnies rip along the seam of your thigh?


















i dont know what it means. but i sure know what it looks like.

this never gets old.

preview today. in full April 7th.


video.vh1.com

who made keri hilson!?! shes too damn pretty.

rejection

after 7 unanswered texts:


man: Hey quick question did I come off as gay to you?

sent at 9:15 am.

about that date last night...

Well...

we didn't go out to dinner- he cooked salmon, greens, rice, steamed crab legs. white wine. reisling.

he was finer than all outdoors. not 30. (never betting on lboogie in a guess the age competition). turns 24 saturday.

6'3"

pretty teeth.

watched family guy. and some shambles I will blog about shortly.

he wore these: naw, not in white... black ones looked even better.

next thing I knew, his heavy dick rested on my neck...

ok maybe not that last part. but i had a good time.

dear line sister,

i really enjoyed our 3 hr conversation last night.

love you always,
3

treen been--why is you libin' like this?

get these trolls OUTTA here!

muuuch better!

a far more palatable picture of these two beauties, no?

(you can find the rest of the Vogue athlete/model feature here.)

"I'm the only muthafucka that can do porno, coach football and have a cooking show"

Who but he?
Kick back for some other golden moments from this April XXL interview:

"Sensual Seduction" took people by surprise. Why release what is basically an R&B record as your first single?"
"There was no strategy. When I played it for my people, my record-label people, they were like, 'eh.' I was like, 'fuck what y'all talking about, I'm putting this shit out. That's some fly shit. It's my career anyway."
"Your label does have a lot of money invested in you."
"I don't give a fuck if they have money invested in me. it's me that makes them have money to be invested in me. I'm the only thing going over there. Well, I'm the best thing going over there. I'll say it like that. It's no disrespect. it is what it is."
"Do you ever worry about what effects (your reality show) might have? Ozzy's son went to rehab. Nick and Jessica divorced. Britney and K-Fed. Any concern over putting your family on camera?"
"Have you seen Run's House? They doing just fine [pause] 'cause they black."

Taking things too far - part deux

now i love me some body art. but Game might be taking things just a bit too far.
Here is Game as a handsome, fresh faced babygirl:
As for the inspiration behind the butterfly?
Which was promptly ( and wisely ) covered up with this:Click here to enjoy Game's most recent venture into facial tattooing. From what i can see he begins to regret it with about 3 minutes, 40 seconds left to go

While you're at it

While you're around XXL.com, might as well stop by here
for Jim Jones talking a lot of shit - re. Camron, Jay-Z and just about everything else,

here to see Juelz diplomatically sum shit up,

and here
to see our favorite babygirl 50 - bury the competition - literally.

the camera person is pretty impressed by blunts and diamonds, hugh?

weezy wouldn't tell you this...

we all know Weezy. Raspy voice. Nasty flow. I saw some shit a couple weeks ago that Weezy just would not tell you about. He should have, and I would have. But he didn't.

Now I have never seen anything like London. except on tv. not even on the news.

A nigga in London will kidnap you. You don't believe me? they've done it. There is a man who owns a food shop not far from here. We'll call him Patrick. I'm sure the shop has a name, but no one calls it anything but Patrick's shop. Patrick sells good food and everyone knows it. Fish, Jerk Chicken, Steak, Rice and beans, plantain, patties. Good food. because the food is so good, and because everyone knows it, Patrick has made a lot of money. Not wealth. Not white people money. But money. A few guys go into his shop every day. That's the kind of shop it is. They realize how many other people go into the shop every day too. They work out how much the food costs. They sort out how many hours it's open. They discuss how much might be in the register. They realize how much might be in the bank.

And then they kidnap Patrick. They pull up outside the shop early - as he's on his way in, masked, and throw him into the back of the van. His wife and children are already tied up inside. They drive them to his bank. They have him withdraw 250,000 pounds. Not dollars. Pounds. They drive them home. Drop them off. Lay low for a few days. Next week they are back eating in Patrick's shop. Sans mask. Same shop. what kind of shit is that?

Now, if you did not gather from 'Jerk, Plantain and Patties' - Patrick is black. How are you going to be black, kidnap a black man outside his independently owned food shop - in a city as wealthy as London. That's almost as foolish, reckless and brolick as attempting to shoot and rob Wayne (twice) for coming halfway across the World to perform for 20 pounds a head.

i would ask you to enjoy very brief snippets of the concert below. before Weezy asks for the niggas head. on a platter. and then i'd ask you to forgive the shoddy videography - (i'm a bit of a fan) - but i can't ask you to do either one, cuz Media Player and Blogger keep fuckin' with my footage. Hopefully more to come ......

should i be offended...

when you hit me with the "you a beautiful ass black girl. you don't see too many of those."

"better better better AHHHHH!"

i'll for sure have this kid for a snack now that i have little to choose from downstairs.



p.s. i def grew up singing this song, along with A Hard Day's Night and every MJ song ever recorded, in my bloomers, and i have a vhs to prove it.

broken glass. everywhere.

from the looks of it, a delinquent or two smashed the snack machine in my building to a rotten pulp after a hellish weekend of debauchery. what was left? a tampon in row 5. no doritos. no fruit snacks. no famous amos imitation oreos.

i heard he got arrested. bitchasss.

traceyrocco

the new boos. spotted in nyc.

takers?

there's something lance bass casperesque bout this fella.

daps, concrete.

what has your video girl done for you lately?

i love this bitch.

you know you love it

just some fun from wifey's hotspot and mine, people.com startracks:


momma heidi with one darling babygirl


i'm not usually a big fan of mer', but babygirl look good.


ames on the way to see her blake incarcerated.
we still love you, babygirl.

got the hottest chick in the game...

...wearin' his ring???

prospect heights. wood floors. sitting in the window like mother-sister. may or may not be smoking. something. half empty wine glass. too big hoops. pink toenails.

blasting this:



space.

"i wanna wriiiiiiiiiite!!"

i got in a fight with myanté today. he's about 8. my tutee. and he drives me up the wall. but i love him to death. all the kids came in quietly today. myanté? bursts in, throws his bag down, "where my snaaaack?" see--he does this thing where he draws out the very last word in all of his sentences when he wants something. you know, just to hammer it home.

we read together. then came writing time. and he was not having it. at all. he pretty much was like "nah, b. not today." we had an exchange. or 7. and he just would not budge. so i told him he could go back to aftercare if he didnt want to do work. the flood gates opened. tears, yelling, the whole 9. "okaaaay, okay, i wanna wriiiiiiiiiite!" nope. you don't wanna write. back downstairs.

i came back up after wrestling him down the stairs, empty. i missed him. his little face is the best thing ever. tutoring's over--all the other kids go back to aftercare. i walk them down, now having to face myanté who got sent back 20 mins too early. he is now death grilling me from the sidelines.

"you mad at me?"
"no" (rolls eyes. then smirks.)
"i didn't wanna send you back. we were doing so well. do you promise to be a good boy on thursday?"
"yes"
"hug?"
hug.

i realize now the panic that came over myanté when he didn't have a choice to write anymore. when i took that away from him. maybe i was inadvertently hating on his ability to give it up so freely. so easily. bc i've been yearning to write. pining.

i got writer's block like a muuuhfucka.

he get it juicy for ya

jim jonsin is the (white!) miami-dade magician responsible for the #1 banger of my life, weezy's crack lollipop. he got his start with trick daddy and co. back in the day and has been hittin' us wit da hee ever since.

he also produced this sentimental/hilarious breakup song from the diamond princess, a throwback i saw yesterday that reminded me just how much i love this bitch:



i don't know about you, but i'm DEF feelin the white woman's head miss trina is rocking in this clip.

chanelworld

boasting 7,500 square feet of curved white walls and displays that celebrate chanel's impact on the world, the chanel mobile art exhibition is currently opening its doors to the luckies in hong kong. the kickoff to a 2 year world tour, this exhibit will headline in hong kong and make its way to tokyo, ny, london, moscow, then paris. they hit nyc in september, and i'll have you know your rbg squad will be in lagerfeld's house -- live and direct (pictures to follow)

"very French, pretentious, verbose, bossy"

this exhibition displays the artwork of 20 international contemporary artists -- the likes of which include the work of nobuyoshi araki, bka the japanese warhol. for full artist bios visit: chanelmobileart.

the artists' inspiration? the classic quilted handbag 2.55 designed in February 1955 by white woman of the century, Coco Chanel, herself. they were asked to draw upon her marvel to produce the pieces being featured.
created by architect Zaha Hadid [1st rbGIRL winner of the Pritzker Prize for architecture in its 27 yr history!], the exhibit has a uniquely futuristic appeal that will treat visitors to a holistic experience.

..drool

april fool

now ever since emil wilbekin left, this magazine has been dead to me. and with this hot ass mess of a cover story...gotdamn. this babygirl is delusional:


"I wanna be a Bob Marley. I wanna be a Tupac. ­Their lives mean so much. I wanna mean so much after I’m gone. Y’all still gotta do shows, tributes, dedicate 20 whole minutes to me on every show. I want that."

not your calling, boo.

via bossip.

YESSSSSS BITCH!!!!!

i just died 15 times over.

fuck sleep. im jookin' all night. and you, mcklezie? certified BABYGIRL.

apparently, i'm no longer white either...

"if i can pay for the war in iraq, i can pay for this lady to go to jail"

at least 17 other tags applied but blogger said:
"The combined length of all the labels must be at most 200 characters."

is it just me...

or is the facebook group for "greeks who can GET IT" just an abomination?

peep the criteria:

Because i'm tired of people posting their sexy pics on Greeks Gone Wild! Now you have your own group! (God forbid Greeks Gone Wild wasn't enough...)
Post here if...
- you know your the shit but want others to validate it!! ("YOUR" the shit, eh?)
- You're sexy and want to show the e-world!! (but you knew to use "you're" here? UNFORGIVABLE.)
Same rules apply as GGW...
- No bitchassnezz (Laurie Ann Gibson was behind this spelling catastrophe--for sure.)
- Must be Greek related
-Oh yea, and limit pics of oneself to 3!!
Alright.. now its time to let them know if they can REALLY get it or not. (Hey.. they shouldnt have posted if they didnt want the truth!!) Have at it people! Who knows.. maybe some new e-boos will start right here!! ("Have at it?" In Zamunda that means what?)

errrr ahhh...where they do that at?!

as joie asks: did you make the cut?!?!

as much as it hurts--i'll sit this one out.

whatever kanye

get me my alexis, and i'm happy.

the real star of spring bling...

FRANKIE!!!!!!

more on black people...

boosie+coogi vest= surefire recipe for suicide watch.

"Wipe me down, Heavenly Father!" -crunk&disorderly gives me life errday.